I am an individual who does not have accounts on any of the major social media platforms. In fact, I tried the Fediverse briefly but found it as disengaging as actual Twitter.
When someone asks for my Instagram or Snapchat or what have you, I tell them I don't have it, they look at me, and I can see the gears in their mind turning. They think and think for what feels like eternity, but is in reality a few seconds. And then, without fail, they say "good for you"
It's, in fact, the same exact response someone gives you when you tell them you're sober off of a drug they enjoy.
Guy 1: "Hey man you wanna go get a beer and watch the game?"
Guy 2: "Actually, I just went through 12 step and I'm renewing my commitment to sobriety"
Guy 1: "Good for you, man." and they awkwardly back away.
It's very socially isolating, and frequently makes me want to get back on Instagram, but as I imagine it's like for a sober individual, it is only ever a fleeting urge. I wait a few minutes and remember the horrors of Instagram Reels (which I narrowly avoided the popularization of, otherwise I would surely be hopelessly addicted to it) and the modern TikTok algorithm.
I think what people hear when I say I don't have social media is that I'm making a moral judgement, but I simply am not. When you're an addict, you don't have to make a moral judgement about your substance of choice to realize that it's harming you. It sure makes sobriety easier, but I earnestly believe it's unnecessary.
I didn't give up social media because I felt it was immoral (though I do kind of think that), I gave it up because it was completely destroying my love for my community, and most of all, it just really wasn't fun. It was too easy to get sucked into meaningless discussions of politics and reactive, fear-based arguments constantly. When I went outside of my house I genuinely felt unsafe. I didn't quit all of it because I wanted to be better than everyone else (though that definitely helped), I did it mostly because I just really was not enjoying my time on there.
I know a guy who just really loves Instagram Reels and browses them with extreme frequency. He laughs and giggles and swings his feet and displays these obscure, totally postmodern videos to us that make absolutely no sense, but he enjoys every moment of them. That's beautiful, that's something I would never take away. There's no purge to the binge, he just really likes Instagram Reels. If I was like that I would probably still have all the social medias, I just really found myself not enjoying my time on there.
Anyway, not supposed to be proselytizing!
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